Archive for June, 2010

June 30, 2010

Men are idiots.

Okay, that’s a generalization. And there certainly are exceptions (e.g., most wonderful husband ever Jon). But there are a lot of really crummy guys out there. Case in point:

Recently, my friend Anna joined match.com. She insists it’s for her blog, but I’m sure if a relationship were to come out of it, she wouldn’t mind. :) A lot of folks we know are dating or even getting married to men they met online, so it could happen!

Well, now that Anna has been on there for a few days, she’s been getting “winked” at A LOT. Apparently, that’s what you do on match.com. So she’s chosen three of these lovely folks who have winked at her to share with us on her blog. And let me tell you, they are some real catches! So head over and cast your vote for which guy she should wink back at. You’ve got until this evening, when she tallies the votes.

I admit, in the past, I was a little anti-online dating. Mostly because the people I know on those sites were sleazy jerks. And after Anna and I perused her local options on match.com this weekend, I’ve decided that yep, that’s still the case a lot of the guys on there. (Although I’m still hoping Anna will find the diamond in the rough…or at least, have a good time and a laugh on her blog.)

Here’s why. We found the profile of an acquaintance on match.com. Now, this guy had an amazing girlfriend up until a year or so ago. Beautiful, smart, charming, successful…the whole package. But then this guy went a little crazy and turned into a real jerk. He broke up with her, led her on for a while, and treated her like garbage until she finally realized what he was and left him for good.

So now this guy is on match.com, and let me tell you! He’s got the most pretentious profile in the history of online dating. He’s looking “for someone who can play backyard football, then turn around and light up the room in an evening gown.” And “someone who is anything but ordinary.” And I’m sure there’s a whole lot more of that kind of stuff on his profile, but I don’t remember. Which, let’s be honest, is probably a good thing.

Can you imagine any girl responding to this favorably? Would any girl say, “why yes, I DO light up the room when I put on my evening gown! Date me!” I don’t think so.

Here’s the sad part: His exgirlfriend was as close as he was ever going to get to that, and he threw that away. And I know a bunch of guys who have realized that too late.

So here’s to hoping that you guys out there will wise up and make smart decisions. And here’s to Anna finding one of those guys! Although I’m not sure if Bigfoot, Hunter Elf, or Kaopectate are the mostly likely candidates.  :)

June 29, 2010

Things a husband can learn from his wife, part 1

This list has been compiled based on actual events. I’ll try to add more to this list in the future. Maybe I can even get Jon to write a “things wives can learn from their husbands” list. Hmmm…

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1. The dishwasher does not fill with water when you turn it on. It just sprays water, and you can open the dishwasher mid-cycle.

2. You can eat the skin of a peach. Just because it’s fuzzy doesn’t mean it’s inedible.

3. To prep asparagus, there’s no need to chop the end of the stalk off. Just bend each piece of asparagus–it will naturally break where it should to get rid of the tough fibers of the stalk.

4. Organic milk is ALWAYS better than that gross stuff you were buying at the grocery store for ages. No excuses.

5. Just because you think you see a snake is no excuse to run away.

June 28, 2010

Cool thing of the day

Tattooed brides:

Photo from Raya Carlisle Photography on Once Wed

She’s funky and full of personality, but still looks completely classy. I kinda wish I could have pulled that off.

June 28, 2010

Green thumb or brown thumb?

I am not a gardener. I don’t know a thing about flowers. Which is making my newest hobby pretty difficult.

It all started with a little tomato plant that one of Jon’s clients gave him. We’ve even got a nickname for him because one time I said “tomato plant” and Jon heard “tiny tomate.” So the nickname stuck, even though he’s considered a “big boy tomato,” whatever that is. When I first planted it a month ago, it looked like this.

Yesterday, it looked like this:

These things grow so quickly! Still no tomatoes yet, but I’m hopeful. And he’s a little droopy, and I think that’s because it only gets a few hours of sunlight a day–we have a very shady porch. :(

But my orchids are still beautiful, aren’t they?! They were a gift from Ms. Anna when she threw my bachelorette party in April, and they’re still going strong, which seems like a pretty big feat because everyone I’ve known who’s tried to grow these things has ended up killing them.

The secret? Water them with ice! I’ve been giving this little guy one ice cube a week–although I read online that they recommend three cubes per week. So far, it’s definitely working. But I figure at some point it’s going to start withering, so I googled “how to prune an orchid.” Several sites told me to trim the plant down to the second stem node once the flowers die…whatever THAT is. If anyone can help when the time comes, I’d greatly appreciate it. :)

June 26, 2010

Ciao Venezia!

Heading into Venice by train.

Poor little blog…I’ve neglected you for a week! And I meant to post this last night, but Ms. Anna offered margaritas, and I got a little distracted. So here we are, back with our regularly scheduled blog post, sans wedding photos. (Although I’m sure there will be more of that soon enough.)

Back to Italy! Our last stop: Venice. We were really looking forward to seeing this city. Everyone said it was going to be our favorite stop. An old city built on water with absolutely no roads? Fascinating! But to be honest, Venice must have lost some of its old charm. Someone tried to sell us cheap “Venetian” glass–made in China–or fake Louis Vuitton bags–also made in China–on EVERY corner. And for the city that is known for its risotto, you had to order at least two portions before they would even make it. As someone with celiac disease, who can’t eat pasta, that’s a pretty big deal. Thank goodness we didn’t have that problem in Rome or Florence…I would have starved.

But Venice truly was beautiful. Here’s the proof:

This guy looks a little grumpy.

We happened to be walking by as these guys rolled out this vintage racing gondola out of storage. It was awesome to see how they got this thing into the water.

According to old Venezian tradition, newly married couples put locks on bridges throughout the city, then throw the keys into the canal. Of course, we forgot ours. :( But congrats to D & T, whoever you are!

And I just love this incredible clock in piazza San Marco, even if it chimed a few minutes before the hour. Look at the colors!

And I love this view inside the church of San Marco–an entire church covered in gold mosaics. You aren’t supposed to take photos here…whoops! One of our local guides mentioned that Venice really doesn’t have museums–their churches serve as museums (and you have to pay to go into most). On our last day, we stumbled into Chiesa Santa Lucia: the church of Saint Lucy. Little did we know that the mummified body of Santa Lucia was right up on the altar, in a plexiglass display case, right next to the gift shop. Her face was covered with a gold mask, but what was left of her hands and feet were clearly visible. We didn’t take any shots of that.

But of course, one of our favorite things about Venice (and Italy in general) was the dogs.

That’s enough for now. I’m off to repot my calamondine orange tree (which I was supposed to do ages ago, but due to the lack of modern planters, I’m doing this today), watch a little soccer, and then head off to a cookout. Ciao!